Relationship: Ten Strategies to Improve Your Relationship By Alan Moreton

Relationship Strategy No.1: Appreciate your Partners
Differences

• Due to your upbringing, family background, cultural heritage and psychological makeup, you and your partner approach life from completely different perspectives.
• By accepting that fact, you can begin to appreciate the value that your partner brings to the relationship. A balanced relationship requires Ying and Yang, the male and the female to flourish. Differing viewpoints make for a rich and rewarding relationship.

Relationship Strategy No.2: Understand the Nature of Love

• Has the hot, heady romantic passion subsided in your relationship? Has the infatuation faded? Good! Now you are ready to move on to the mature stage of love. You have moved past the first flush of romantic love where your feelings are in a constant flutter and your emotions are running high.
• Now you can develop a more mature and realistic approach to your relationship. Work, family, children, friends, as well as your relationship, are all part of a much bigger picture. This is the natural progression and does not mean that you are no longer in love. It just means that reality has taken over from unrealistic expectations.

Relationship Strategy No.3: Accept Your Partners Values
and Beliefs

• Do not expect your partner to agree with everything you value and believe.
• You can expect to fundamentally disagree about most things. If you can accept that your partner has a different opinion to yours, then you can agree to disagree. This need not impact on your emotional agreement. You can still love your partner even if you don't agree with their opinion.

Relationship Strategy No.4: Accept that you and your
partner have conflicting interests

• You like may like pop music, your partner may like soul music. You like football, your partner prefers tennis. You like drama, your partner prefers comedies. You like X, your partner prefers Y.
• Just because you have different interests does not mean that there is anything wrong with your relationship.
• If you experience conflict and stress as a result of engaging in activities that you don't really like, then you should consider giving them up.

Relationship Strategy No.5: Learn How to Argue
Constructively

• Disagreements arise in every relationship. This need not be a problem.
• When you argue, keep to the issue. Do not verbally attack your partner personally.
• Ask for time to calm down if you are emotionally upset.
• Don't put your entire relationship on the line for the sake of winning an argument.
• Try to achieve emotional balance after expressing your opinion.

Relationship Strategy No.6: Learn to Control Your
Feelings

• Avoid attacks on the self worth of your partner during arguments. This is potentially destructive and may not represent how you truly feel.
• If you are emotionally out of control, it might be best to leave the room for a while, go for a run, do some exercise or find other ways to relieve the tension you feel.
• Avoid saying things in the heat of the moment that you might regret later when you have clamed down.

Relationship Strategy No.7: Remember to Maintain an
Intimate Relationship

• It is so easy to drift into lazy habits. Watching T.V. late into the night so that you are too tired for intimacy. Overeating or over drinking so that you are incapable of quality time together. Allowing yourself to get out of condition or becoming slovenly in your habits. These all impact on sexual desire and performance.
• Recapture some of the romance of courtship with flowers, candlelight and dinners for two. Rekindle the flame of sexual desire by taking the time to be intimate. Maintain the physical comfort of touching, caressing and holding hands.

Relationship Strategy No.8: Accept your Partners
Weaknesses

• Your partner may be less than perfect but then so are you. Accept your partner's weaknesses. If they were perfect then they wouldn't need you, would they?
• Focus on your partner's strengths. Make a list of all the things you like about them and concentrate your attention on those.
• Providing your partner's behaviour is not abusive or destructive then you can learn to overlook it and learn to compensate for them. Remember you are two halves of one whole.

Relationship Strategy No.9: Accept the Unique Qualities of your
Relationship

• Every relationship is different. What you accept in your relationship others may think is objectionable. What you think is objectionable in the relationship of others, they may think is tolerable.
• Just be yourselves and find your own level of acceptable behaviour within your relationship. Do not allow yourselves to be judged by anyone else's so-called standards of acceptable behaviour.
• Everyone expresses love in their own unique way. The underlying feelings are genuine and real, however they are expressed.

Relationship Strategy No.10: Accept Responsibility for the
Relationship

• If you want the relationship to change then start by changing your own behaviour or attitudes.
• You cannot expect your partner to change just because you are unhappy about their behaviour or their attitudes.
• Accept the responsibility of changing your own approach, use new techniques, adopt new strategies.

Romance Secrets - Making That Old Relationship Feel Like New By Richard Hamon

When I talk about the absolute importance of keeping your relationship youthful, couples often listen in disbelief.
Show me a couple who has lost their luster for playing, cutting up and having fun, and I'll show you a couple on the brink of despair. Or perpetual boredom!
Naturally, as we settle into a long-term relationship, familiarity may lead to boredom. But knowing a person well isn't the problem. That's an asset. The problem is one of settling into a routine and forgetting to mix things up a bit.
What You Can Do About It
If your relationship has become old-hat, and you need to give it a shot of adrenalin, try using a successful strategy I often use with my clients. It will help you to have a lighter, more enjoyable relationship, and to keep your relationship young and vital.
I ask both partners to sit down and make a list of how they would like the relationship to change in the future. What new activities would they like to do? How would they like to relate to each other? How can they add a twist of new excitement or in some way revitalize the relationship?
Having a frank and open discussion can help you to pinpoint areas of concern and unhappiness. Keeping the focus of the discussion on the future helps you to stay positive and to think in terms of your relationship's potential.
I encourage couples to be creative and to use their imaginations when designing the relationship they will have in the future.
Ways To Plan For The Future That Will Work
-- Select a few basic areas in need of change or growth -- areas in the relationship you both value
-- Find new activities you would enjoy doing, and turn over a new leaf by doing a few
-- Select activities or interests you both feel excited about
-- Be bold and try something different
-- Do plan a relationship around more time for play and having fun, but do not over-structure it or make it seem like work or an obligation.
-- Remember all work and no play makes a couple feel old and grumpy. How can you rearrange your relationship to have more time for having fun, traveling or just enjoying life more together?
-- Consider large and small changes, such as moving to another part of the country or finding new hobbies that can keep you learning new things and finding new avenues for personal growth and change
Make A List
Write it all up and make a list of additional steps to take in improving your relationship. Would you like to discuss it with family members or get ideas from people you trust? Are there things you might want to investigate? Do you both need to read a good book on reinvigorating your sex life? Whatever!
A Trip To The City Park
Last week I saw a couple playing in a wonderful way at the local park. They were an older couple, both silver-haired. So don't say you are too old to try this!
They walked around the playground trying out all the equipment, from the teeter totter to the kiddie slide. Some of the play stations were too physically demanding for them, but they had a good time trying. They laughed as they played together, rummaging about the playground with a light-hearted spirit. In the end, they gravitated toward the swing set where they stayed for a long time, swinging.
Not only did they swing on their own, but they took turns pushing each other! She didn't give him much of a push, and they laughed about that for a long time.
This couple captured the spirit of play that makes a relationship feel new and interesting. I don't know how long they had been together, but it didn't matter. If you have fun and try new things at any age, it will re-invigorate your relationship. Sometimes it's merely a matter of rediscovering a long-forgotten activity . . . something you haven't found time to do for a while.
The most memorable image I have kept from that day at the park is one of the couple walking slowly on the walking trail, holding hands in an orange purple burst of sunset, their silver heads flowing with color. How lovely they were, walking, as if one, a smile of unison on their faces.
Rediscover A Lost Relationship Or Build A New One?
You and your partner can get closer together and start enjoying your relationship more, if you rediscover the lost art of having fun and playing as two childhood friends, or the friends you once were. Instead of arguing or worrying, or getting ensnared in the daily routine, which can feel like a cement weight, start a new ripple of fun in your relationship. Reinvent your relationship. Recover your lost knack for living life with a sense of spontaneity, discovery and having fun.
Yet, that is only the beginning.
Why not ask yourselves, now you are experienced with your relationship, what would you like for it to be that it has not yet become?
Why not design the relationship you always wanted by finding creative ways of thinking about your relationship and setting some totally new goals for yourselves?
The mature years of a relationship can be the best of all if you find ways to keep your relationship flexible and keep trying new things. Treat yourselves to a fun-filled future you'll both look forward to and enjoy, and your relationship will prosper and give you years of great happiness.
Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.
You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Find out about personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly reaching your loftiest goals. Discover eBooks, relaxation CDs and other informative products, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.

Numerology's Love Relationship - What Kind Of Partner You Need By Keith Abbott

Want to know what kind of love relationship you need? Numerology can tell you what kind of partner you need to find happiness in life. We just need to calculate your Love Relationship number.
Calculating your Love Relationship Number
Your Love Relationship number comes from a specific branch of Numerology called Yantra or Magic Square numerology. It consist of constructing a Magic square using your birth date numbers, and then interpreting the values in the specific boxes in the square.
Your Love Relationship number is found by taking your birth month number, subtracting (1), then reducing the result by fadic addition.
For example, actor Johnny Depp was born on June 9th, 1963; so his Love relationship number would be calculated as follows:
Love Relationship number = (Birth Month - 1) = (6 - 1) = (5)
The Love Relationship number values and their meanings are listed below.
Love Relationship (0)
You don't have any particular needs or wants in a relationship. You like them well enough, but you don't have any need for a special type of partner. You are happy with whatever comes to you.
Love Relationship (1)
You will have one major love relationship which grows and develops over time. You may tend to be self-centered in your relationships; however you can probably find a partner who loves you in spite of this.
Love Relationship (2)
You are a very supportive partner. You communicate well with your lover, due to your strong intuition in this area. You are also able to detect when your partner is worried, or something is wrong in your relationship.
Love Relationship (3)
You need a partner who likes conversation and plenty of entertainment. You are a bit of a flirt at times, but your partner needn't worry; this is mostly for show and not a serious threat to your relationship.
Love Relationship (4)
You are an affectionate partner. You work hard at your relationships, and care deeply for the ones you love. You are always faithful, and a good provider for your love partners; but not particularly passionate. You need a partner who appreciates you for who you are.
Love Relationship (5)
You need a partner who gives you lots of personal space. You are an excellent partner and a passionate lover so long as you don't feel trapped and bound by your relationship. If your partner tries to cage you, hold you too tightly; you're likely to break up so you can escape.
Love Relationship (6)
You need a partner who gives you a good, strong relationship; full of love and affection. You feel incomplete outside of a relationship, and will seek to create a new one if your previous one fails. You are very caring and need friends and loved ones around you to accept your love. If you don't have children, then you must find a substitute to receive your affection.
Love Relationship (7)
You need a partner who gives you time to be alone with your thoughts. You are a thoughtful lover, always thinking of your partner and acting to show your affection. However, you have trouble expressing your love in words, either written or spoken. Love literally puts binders on your tong.
Love Relationship (8)
You need a partner who helps you do well financially in order to be happy. You might form a successful business with your partner, or marry into wealth. Your relationships might not be as passionate as some, but they tend to be long lasting, and give you happiness.
Love Relationship (9)
You are inclined to fall in love easily, sometimes with the wrong partners. You are very romantic and a considerate lover. You like surprising your partner with small gifts as token of your affection. You need to be careful in choosing a partner, and not rush in to a relationship. With the right partner, your relationship will grow very strong indeed.
Love Relationship (11)
You need a strong and supportive partner in order to be happy. You will fall in and out of love very easily and may be disappointed trying to find the perfect relationship. You are able to express your love easily, and you're a caring partner, but you are too much of an idealist for your own good.

Relationship Rescue - 3 Secrets to Rescue Your Relationship By Anne Amore

Help! I need to rescue my relationship today!

Here are 3 ideas you can use to save your marriage or love relationship:

1. Make an appointment with a relationship doctor!

Relationship rescue can be complex so consult the relationship doctors, gurus and experts that have studied successful relationships and know what you need to do to get save your relationship. You don't have to go to marriage counselling unless you both have agreed that is the last hope for you. Simply make use of the great books, courses and websites that are out there that teach you how to have a blissful relationship.

2. Remember your vows!

If you are wanting to save your marriage relationship, start by recalling your vows. You made a promise to eachother. Now, it's time to start honoring that promise big time. You may even have to break a sweat to do it! But just re-establish your love relationship as your primary value. Make it all important. And start doing those things that you intuitively know already that make relationships work. The love commitment that you made to each other offers the clues to what you need to do for relationship rescue:

To love, comfort and keep -- this means be affectionate. Speak to your partner warmly. Encourage, cuddle and caress them. Love works miracles to save your relationship.

Faithfulness -- keep faith with each other. Support each other. Back one another up. Be the strength that empowers your partner.

Unconditionality -- you promised to be together through richer or poorer, in sickness and health. If your relationship is sick, you stick with it and do what you need to do to change and make it better.

Permanence -- your marriage vows may have included "as long as we both shall live" or "until death do us part". That's a promise of eternal love. So eliminate that mental get out clause (breakup or divorce) you are holding in the back of your mind. And take 100% responsibility for rescuing your relationship.

3. The ultimate relationship saver

Invest your energy in your relationship rescue plan by forming a new picture of what you want your love relationship to be like. As you visualise the qualities that you want to see manifest in your marriage or relationship, begin to ask yourself how you personally can start to create this. By taking personal responsibility, you will tap into your enormous creative resources and will be guided as to what to say and do in order to save your relationship.

I think an awesome way to start to rescue your relationship is to make a big effort to show appreciation and gratitude for your partner. This might take an enormous effort on your part if your relationship is really bad, but it can pay immediate dividends in the way you feel and the way the relationship pans out day to day. Simply say thankyou for all the things you are grateful to your partner for. If necessary drag up old memories and say, for example, "Remember that time when you picked up my dry cleaning for me? I really appreciated that. Thank you." Make a game of finding things to be grateful. What you appreciate, appreciates in value.

Gratitude has awesome healing powers. Explore it as part of your relationship rescue mission and you'll find yourself on your way to the truly blissful relationship that you both deserve.

Secret Relationships - Do They Work? By Joe Bisley

When you think about secret relationships you think of James Bond. These relationships give the impression of freedom and adventure; in reality they are often the contrary. The person in the secret relationship appears to be always smiling at you because he knows something you don't know.

Just as secret relationships are quite common, they don't always work out for very long; Having to keep such a secret puts considerable pressure on the couple; this is why they are so often short lived.

Most people talk about their partner in their everyday conversation. So if there was no secret you would be naturally talking about them quite regularly throughout the day. It will be difficult to continue for a long period without talking in some way about your relationship.

When you are in a secret relationship you must continually refrain from doing so. Perhaps you thrive on the stress under which you put yourself throughout the day; indeed some people treat it like a game and play it to the full to see how long they can get away with it. Others tend to get themselves into this situation by accident, and find themselves under enormous trying all day long to avoid "spilling the beans".

Then you have your partner in this relationship having to do the same thing, so between the two of you, this can amount to an awful lot of strain.

You have to be so careful in everything you do to avoid being seen together by your friends. The pleasure of a meal in a restaurant or going to a movie together or even being seen in the street together holding hands is not for you

You may have a good reason for wanting to keep the relationship secret. You do not want your friends to know that what started as a casual friendship has developed into something more intense. If eventually there is a break up the friends will never know.

For this reason, affairs at work are often kept secret. There are some situations at work where such liaisons are actively discouraged, if not forbidden. Anyway it is usually preferable that those around are not in the know;

Wanting to keep the secret gives the feeling that the partners consider that the relationship is not destined to last long term. A relationship, where you share with your partner the doubts about its viability, is not a healthy relationship.

For those who enjoy the thrill of a secret relationship it is best to make the most of it while it lasts, knowing that this may not be for very long.

You would do well to read a book written by T 'Dub' Jackson. It is a no nonsense, simple, easy to read guide called "The Magic of Making Up". He has been able to help many thousands of people all over the world, sort out their relationship problems.

7 Myths About Creating a Better Relationship By Cecil McIntosh

In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.
Myth 3
I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself. Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship. You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream. Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship

Starting Relationships Begin With You

Being a single male in my late-twenties, I discovered that i consciously and unconsciously think about, search for someone special. The desire has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I’m thirty-two.
This goal may seem far-fetched and I admit it is, so I’m open to altering it. I know what I want in a future spouse (I think) and I definitely know what I don’t want. But the older I get, the more I realize that the challenge to find someone who fits what I want and what I don’t want seems like “mission: impossible.” My impatience steps in which seems to prolong my wait to meet this future wife of mine.
Occasionally, I reflect on the thought that she is out there somewhere so I wonder what she is doing at that very moment and if she is thinking of me. As much as I am actively trying to find someone, I’m reminded by my friends how they found their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to remind myself and know that God will introduce me to her and reveal who she is when we are both ready.
So does that mean I’m not ready? I think I am, but at times I have my doubts. Maybe she isn’t ready, which could mean that she is doing something to better herself for our relationship. I’ll always go back to the question of if I’m ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the following questions:
I ask myself if I’m financially ready. Who is? I graduated college a couple of years ago and have already gone through two career changes and I have been laid off. Needless to say, my checkbook is nowhere near where I want it to be, I won’t even mention credit cards. So I need to think more about saving for my future, buying a house, and paying off some bills. After all, I don’t want to drag her into my debt and spending habits. I know that I need to better myself in regards to finances.
I ask myself, am I physically fit and attractive? The honest answer is that I’m not in as good of shape as I’d like to be and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I need to join a gym, look online for articles about cooking healthier for bachelors, and watch how many times I go out to eat. What is a better motivator to working out besides looking good for yourself and gaining that confidence, than wanting to look good for your significant other? After all, I hope my wife is attracted to me as I am to her.
I ask myself, am I smart? With a college degree I think so, until I watch shows like Jeopardy or play board games with friends and I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I am thinking of going back to school. After all, I want my wife to think I’m intelligent.
I ask myself if I’m in the spiritual place with God that I want to be. Do I attend church every week? Do I read the Bible each day? Am I asking more from God than I am thanking Him during prayer? Am I a good example for others and am I teaching them about God? After all, I hope my future wife and I can pray together and maybe take a leadership role in a youth group.